A friend of mine was going through some rough time. Her good friend just passed away at the age of 35. No history of chest pain, no record of any chronic illness. One fine day, he had a sudden heart attack, dropped to the floor, and died on the way to hospital. Unable to accept the decease of this friend who had been like a brother to her, she cried for few days.
She kept telling me, "I could accept his passing if he had been ill. But he had been healthy. How could he die so suddenly!".
Isn't that a common response from most people? When things happen slowly, in the mind of the living, they may be prepared to let the deceased go. When things happen in a sudden, they are in shock and not willing to let go. That is selfishness. Why should the deceased suffer in pain so that the living can "be prepared"?
Human being is attached to many things. Worldly possessions, people we love (or hate), emotions, dreams, etc etc. When someone passed away, we are in pain because we are attached to that person. The sadness sets in because we are not willing to let that person out of our life. The dependent goes into panic mode because he/she suddenly do not know what to do or how to handle things without the other party.